Hey everyone!! Here are a few clips from HerRelease w/ Guest Speaker Eboni Rufus
Sometimes when we are waiting on a job, new home, relationship, or test results; we find ourselves becoming weary and antsy. We don’t know which way to turn or what to do while we wait on the process. Instead of preparing ourselves while we wait sometimes we do things a to make it worst. Has this happened to you or someone you know? When this happens what do you do or what advice do you give?
Well before I learned how to have a relationship with God and myself during times I needed to I struggled with staying wait patient when it came to relationships.
Years before I meet my fiancé I was in a long term relationship for most of my 20’s and part of my 30’s. When it was over I had no clue how to function alone, I didn’t know who I really was without being attached to a relationship! During my singleness my friends would tell me not to rush back into a relationship but that I should take my time to get to know myself and be alone for while I waited! I tried but my impatient nature and loneliness took over! I became weary and antsy. I threw myself back into the dating scene (mentally and physically). Every attempt to make my “relationships” work failed in heartbreak and/or disappointment!
Tried of allowing myself to be used or using people to fill a void I had to really figure out my next move and I neeed to do it quick! I knew I was becoming confused and constantly entertaining dead end relationships. I was so over trying to fill the void in my life with people and things. Needing help and direction I started going back to church.
At the church I was attending at the time, we had a women’s conferences and the guest pastor was talking about God’s promises and the process we go through while waiting to receive them. At the end of the conference they did alter call. I felt the need to go up to the alter (The Holy Spirit was working and I didn’t know it) . As I stood in the front of the church the guest pastor approached me and began to prophecy. At that moment I realized that God was using her to send me a message. He say that I needed to focus on what He wanted me to do and stop focusing on relationships!! Man that Word broke me down but in a good way!!
After that started writing my vision for my life and studying the word. I started to read scriptures like Psalms 37:4 NLT “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” I was learning how to be happy in the Lord and find my purpose! I started to see His Will for my life. I had to make adjustments in my life as I worked with God to find myself. There was sacrifices, long suffering, and some lonely nights but I wanted change.
As I started to see my purpose come to fruition I became more intentional. I would seek Gods council before I made decisions . I would self-reflect and pray to stay obedient and on track while I waited. During my self reflecting God brought to my remembrance a Word that He had spoken to me years ago. He told me that my husband would be a Man of God. Back then when He shared that I laughed because I knew the wild and promiscuous life I was living and secondly God wouldn’t be speaking to me. One day God revealed my future husband to me but I didn’t know at the time because I was still working on finding me and Gods Will for my life.
Then what seemed like a sudden shift Gods promises started to overflow. I had my own business, I was helping others with theirs, and I was for once focused on me!! Finally I could see me, they woman God was waiting for me to be! During that time I ran back into the man God revealed to me, we started to get to know one another! We would read scripture together, talking about Gods Will for our lives, and enjoyed each other’s company. He actually cared more about my heart and not my body!!!! I began to fall in love with him because he saw me and not what I offered physically or sexually. I was at a good place and I got comfortable. Well that’s what the devil waits on is for us to be comfortable so he can attack your weaknesses. The devil knew I was impatient and desired a relationship so he tried to trick me. The enemy started to make me doubt if my new friend cared about me because he wasn’t trying to have sex with me and that he’s not moving fast enough for me, so I might as well do you while you wait for him to figure it out. Well I’m not going to lie, the devil almost had me, I almost let him sabotage Gods Will for my future. BUT GOD!!! He reminded me that I was a new creation and my old ways had passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17).
See in my wait I did experience trails and tribulations, moments or being impatience, and reverting back to my old way of being but I learned how to go to God in prayer when I became weary (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT) I learned how to find my back to God the restorer of my soul (Psalms 18:20“The LORD rewarded me for doing right; he restored me because of my innocence.)
As I continue to walk in the things of Christ, I realize how important it is to have scriptures that I can stand on when I’m going through life. One of my favorite scriptures is found in the book of Matthew 19th Chapter, 26 verse: Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible . But with God everything is possible.”
In the verses before the above, Jesus was explaining how hard it was for a rich person to enter into the kingdom of Heaven. He said that it is easier for a camel to enter the eye of a needle. Now that sounds humanly impossible but with God all things are possible.
I have often seen people I know and love let accolades, egos, financial status, and social media likes put them on a pedestal of self-righteousness!!! They walk around like they don’t need anyone and can do it all on their own. But when the compliments turn into hates, their outs start to out-weigh their ins, their business starts to fold, and their social media likes get less and less; they start to slowly find themselves falling of their pedestal. It reminds me of Goliath, he thought he was so big that no one could defeat him. Well he did, by the hands of a little shepherd boy named David that believed he could defeat him because he trusted God (1 Samuel 17:49).
So remember don’t do life alone do it with God. When you have a business idea, a new blog topic, want to buy that new house/car, or interested in starting a new relationship put God in it. When you feel doubtful put God in it. With God, He will do what’s humanly impossible!! He will take you through that needle, He will defeat your obstacles with a single stone and a sling shot because with GOD EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
Hey ladies!! Make sure you get your tickets to the Inaugural Leading Ladies Brunch on May 20,2017 where I will be one of several guest panelist.
Leading Ladies Brunch – RVA is an event designed to educate, motivate and create a sense of support and community amongst fellow business owners. While enjoying the company of likeminded entrepreneurs, attendees will have some of their most pressing business questions answered while gaining insight on how to improve and succeed within their respective fields. The Leading Ladies Brunch will serve as a platform for women of all walks of life and states in their business journey to be empowered
Not good enough, insufficient, weak, and not pretty enough were some of the words I use to use to describe me. All I ever saw were my inadequacies. I never thought I was or would be enough. My inadequate mindset blinded me. I didn’t know my worth so I fell into relationships that were not healthy for me. I was abused verbally, mental, and physically. I would somehow find away to allow my inadequacies to blame myself for the abuse. I stayed silent about my abuse and went through it alone. No one knew what I was going through. My mental and physical wounds where hidden by my silliness and clothing. After years of being in and out of these toxic and unhealthy relationships I had had enough. I told myself I would never be abused again but that was a lie.
I went from being abused to used. In my next relationships I allowed myself to be used physically and financially. If they needed money, needed to use my car, watch their kids while they were out, or sex I made myself available. After they got what they wanted they were done with me, leaving me emotionally worn out and adding onto the list of my inadequate feelings.
One day I had to take a look at myself and ask myself why. Then I asked God why. Then it was clear. I realized that I was abusing myself. I never changed my inadequate mindset. I still found myself as the weak, not pretty or good enough girl I was in my past relationships. Because my mindset didn’t change I found myself always being in something or doing something that just wasn’t good for me.
So I had to make a change. In order for change to happen I needed to find out who I was and whose I was. The first step was finding a healthy relationship to be in and that was with God. I had to pour out and let him pour into me. I had to let God pour his Grace into me. Once I found out His Grace was enough I could feel the change. I felt sufficient. I felt bold. I felt encourage. I felt free.
Today I am a confident Woman of God that feels adequate. I’m a business owner and a blogger. Now that I know who I am and whose I am, I’m able to identify when those old inadequate feelings try to creep back in my mind. Its normally when I try something new in my life or when someone critiques me in a harsh way and when that happens I meditate on this scripture: 2 Corinthians 12:9 APM; but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My loving-kindness and My mercy are more than enough–always available–regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.