Sometimes when we are waiting on a job, new home, relationship, or test results; we find ourselves becoming weary and antsy. We don’t know which way to turn or what to do while we wait on the process. Instead of preparing ourselves while we wait sometimes we do things a to make it worst. Has this happened to you or someone you know? When this happens what do you do or what advice do you give?
Well before I learned how to have a relationship with God and myself during times I needed to I struggled with staying wait patient when it came to relationships.
Years before I meet my fiancé I was in a long term relationship for most of my 20’s and part of my 30’s. When it was over I had no clue how to function alone, I didn’t know who I really was without being attached to a relationship! During my singleness my friends would tell me not to rush back into a relationship but that I should take my time to get to know myself and be alone for while I waited! I tried but my impatient nature and loneliness took over! I became weary and antsy. I threw myself back into the dating scene (mentally and physically). Every attempt to make my “relationships” work failed in heartbreak and/or disappointment!
Tried of allowing myself to be used or using people to fill a void I had to really figure out my next move and I neeed to do it quick! I knew I was becoming confused and constantly entertaining dead end relationships. I was so over trying to fill the void in my life with people and things. Needing help and direction I started going back to church.
At the church I was attending at the time, we had a women’s conferences and the guest pastor was talking about God’s promises and the process we go through while waiting to receive them. At the end of the conference they did alter call. I felt the need to go up to the alter (The Holy Spirit was working and I didn’t know it) . As I stood in the front of the church the guest pastor approached me and began to prophecy. At that moment I realized that God was using her to send me a message. He say that I needed to focus on what He wanted me to do and stop focusing on relationships!! Man that Word broke me down but in a good way!!
After that started writing my vision for my life and studying the word. I started to read scriptures like Psalms 37:4 NLT “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” I was learning how to be happy in the Lord and find my purpose! I started to see His Will for my life. I had to make adjustments in my life as I worked with God to find myself. There was sacrifices, long suffering, and some lonely nights but I wanted change.
As I started to see my purpose come to fruition I became more intentional. I would seek Gods council before I made decisions . I would self-reflect and pray to stay obedient and on track while I waited. During my self reflecting God brought to my remembrance a Word that He had spoken to me years ago. He told me that my husband would be a Man of God. Back then when He shared that I laughed because I knew the wild and promiscuous life I was living and secondly God wouldn’t be speaking to me. One day God revealed my future husband to me but I didn’t know at the time because I was still working on finding me and Gods Will for my life.
Then what seemed like a sudden shift Gods promises started to overflow. I had my own business, I was helping others with theirs, and I was for once focused on me!! Finally I could see me, they woman God was waiting for me to be! During that time I ran back into the man God revealed to me, we started to get to know one another! We would read scripture together, talking about Gods Will for our lives, and enjoyed each other’s company. He actually cared more about my heart and not my body!!!! I began to fall in love with him because he saw me and not what I offered physically or sexually. I was at a good place and I got comfortable. Well that’s what the devil waits on is for us to be comfortable so he can attack your weaknesses. The devil knew I was impatient and desired a relationship so he tried to trick me. The enemy started to make me doubt if my new friend cared about me because he wasn’t trying to have sex with me and that he’s not moving fast enough for me, so I might as well do you while you wait for him to figure it out. Well I’m not going to lie, the devil almost had me, I almost let him sabotage Gods Will for my future. BUT GOD!!! He reminded me that I was a new creation and my old ways had passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17).
See in my wait I did experience trails and tribulations, moments or being impatience, and reverting back to my old way of being but I learned how to go to God in prayer when I became weary (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT) I learned how to find my back to God the restorer of my soul (Psalms 18:20“The LORD rewarded me for doing right; he restored me because of my innocence.)